


Heaven Scent

by Daegaer



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Archangels, Board Games, Gen, Heaven, Humor, Perfume
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22701985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: The archangels follow one of their senses.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	Heaven Scent

Uriel looked up in suspicion from their previous position of peering down over Michael's shoulder at the game board inlaid on the marble-and-alabaster table.

"What is that, that –"

"I think it's a sound," Michael said, her attention taken from studying the game pieces' position. "A quiet one. Is something happening on earth?"

"No, it's not a sound," Raphael said, taking up and throwing the sticks for his turn at Hounds-and-Jackals (it had been out of fashion for many, many centuries on earth, but time moved differently in Heaven, where it was still considered quite daringly new). "It's more like a – colour? Has it come out of space? _That_ was a mess, the last time."

"It's a scent," Sandalphon said. He looked like he was considering feeling slightly embarrassed as the others stared at him in blank incomprehension. "I remember them from earth. They're, er, things that smell nice."

"Demons have a _scent_ and it's not nice," Michael said primly. "Lucifer smelled of treachery and lies."

"To be fair, he _was_ still an angel at the time," Raphael said, moving his pieces and smiling at the new configuration on the board.

"To be _fair?_ " Michael said in a low, dangerous voice, half-rising from her seat. 

"So what's the point of these scents then?" Uriel said hurriedly, as the mysterious odour began to be overwhelmed by the sharp tang of ozone.

"They just smell nice," Sandalphon said. "And the humans put them on other material objects to make _them_ smell nice."

"Huh," Uriel said, clearly unconvinced.

"Do you think a mortal is hiding somewhere in Heaven putting their scent on things?" Raphael said, trying to fend off Michael, who appeared to be intent on smelling him.

"Do you mean a _living_ mortal?" Michael said, distracted from sniffing out treachery. "The Blessed are bad enough –" A more resolute than usual expression settled on her face. "Let's find this interloper." She strode away without a backwards glance, Uriel and Sandalphon at her heels.

"But –" Raphael said, pointing at the board. They all ignored him. " _Every_ time I'm ahead," he muttered, hurrying to join them.

The band of archangels marched through the wide, clean halls of Heaven, following the faint trail of scent. Passing angels were seized and thoroughly snuffled over before being released to flee, wide-eyed and scentless. Sandalphon kept up a commentary about vetiver, white pepper and bright top notes of violet leaves and galbanum that seemed to be drying down to powdery iris and musk leavened with an ineluctably masculine sharp tang of copper.

"You're just saying random words in a strange combination," Uriel said, frowning. "What does it actually _mean?_ "

"It's a nice smell," Sandalphon said, a touch sulkily.

"Have we an actual consensus on what these smells or scents _are?_ " Michael said as they came near the executive offices. "This vetiver stuff, Sandalphon, is it likely to induce angels to commit acts of iniquity?"

"I don't think so," he said. "It's just a fragrant grass."

" _Grass_ is a human slang term for an herb with mind-altering properties," Raphael murmured to Michael. "A drug," he clarified as she looked stern in the way that meant she was hiding ignorance. 

"It's also the term for grass," Sandalphon snapped. "Which is a very common type of plant on Earth."

Uriel sniffed the chill, clear air. "It's getting stronger. The scent-marking interloper might be coming this way."

Light shimmered in Michael and Uriel's hands in the shape of weapons, and Sandalphon cracked his knuckles. Raphael sighed.

"Is this necessary? All of us against one supposed mortal –"

Gabriel came around the corner, preceded by a cloud of scent.

"Guys!" he said. "I was just considering getting everyone together for a quick strategy session and here you are; it just shows the power of positive thinking. What's with the spears, getting a little pre-last-War training in?"

"What's with the . . . _smell_?" Michael said, eyeing him carefully. "What are your views on righteousness versus iniquity?"

"Hah!" he said, clapping her on the shoulder. "That's our Michael, ever-vigilant! Glad you like the cologne, people, it's just a little something I picked up on Earth. It turns out that some clothes designers now formulate personal smells to complement their clothing."

The other archangels looked at him.

" . . . Why?" Uriel said as Sandalphon said,

"It's very - powerful. And manly."

The other archangels looked at Sandalphon instead. He smiled cheerfully.

"Come on, people," Gabriel said, with a smile that implied his vast and infallible knowledge of all created things, "You've got to follow fashion. It's the way to blend in with the humans when we're down there. They really are very good with clothes."

He stroked the front of his dove-grey suit in great satisfaction, and straightened his shirt cuffs an infinitesimal amount, releasing another waft of the _scent_ over them all.

"Extremely powerful, Gabriel," Sandalphon said. "It really says, _Leader of the Host_."

Michael leaned on her spear and gave them both a withering look. Behind her back Raphael caught Uriel's eye and manifested a sick-bag.

"Is it really the sort of example to set for the other choirs?" Michael said. "Do we want them roaming around up here all _smelling_ of things?"

"Why not? Perfume cheers people up, as the saying goes," Gabriel said, sniffing at his own wrist. "I could provide a style guide of what sort of scent goes best with each sort of outfit." His face lit up with what, by definition, had to be _holy_ glee. "I'll need to undertake a quick fact-finding trip just to check on the most angelic of combinations. Anyone want to come with?"

"Oh, I will," Sandalphon said quickly.

"I'm going back to catch up on some work," Michael said. "In my office, which doesn't smell of anything. Uriel?"

"Yeah, I'll go with you," Uriel said.

Gabriel looked expectantly at Raphael who shook his head.

"I'll get back to work too," he said. "To be honest, ever since the humans invented Listerine I haven't found a smell I liked more."

Gabriel favoured them all with a pitying smile and walked off, nodding down as if in understanding at Sandalphon who was now talking again about _top-notes_ and _base-notes_ and ingredients apparently made out of the creatures of the field.

Michael waved a hand and the windows all opened, freezing, odourless ether pouring in. The gleaming white corridors were restored to their normal state, the scent of Gabriel's passing obliterated.

"If only we could deal with all bizarre innovations so easily," she said.

Satisfied with the return to familiarity, the archangels went about their business.

**Author's Note:**

> Gabriel is misquoting the Septuagint version of Prov 27:9 -
> 
>   
> _Perfume and incense make the heart glad,_  
>   
>  _but the soul is torn by trouble._


End file.
